1. If you come to me 30 minutes before we close and need 10,000 fliers printed, its not going to happen. Please don't try to convince me otherwise. A machine can print 60 copies a minute. There are 60 minutes in an hour. 60x60=3,600 copies an hour. So as you can see, it will take almost 3 hours of non-stop copying to do that.

2. When I make a mistake, I pay for it. If you told me to make the copies 2 sided and I did not, I will apologize and correct the problem. You will not be charged for my mistake. However, if you did not read the directions on the machine where it says "place document in upper left hand corner--press start" and you put the document in the upper right hand corner and press start...Well, you will pay for those copies and I reserve the right to swear at you inside my head.

3. Maybe you just need 5 quick copies. Easy, in and out. So why on earth do you and 6 of your friends all need to pile out of the car and come in? You all get out, come in, watch me make the copies, and then 30 seconds later you all leave the store. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, I just have never understood the point.

4. If you don't understand how to use the self serve machines--ASK. That's what I am here for: to help. Why waste 5 minutes of your time staring at the machine like its some foreign object? To go along with item # 2, if you stand there and put your 50 pages in the auto feed face down (when it reads in big bold letters FACE UP) I will again call you a name in my head and make you pay for them.

5. I get it, you need your copies and you need them quick. Like I said earlier, the machine only goes so fast. When I tell you the job will take about an hour, that is your cue to go get some coffee or do another errand and come back. When you proceed to stand at the counter and stare at me the whole time, you are not helping. Your not mind tricking the machine into going any faster. The only thing you are doing is stressing me out. I will strongly consider ripping you off if you do this (although I never do).

6. I've done this job for a long time. I know what I am doing. If I tell you that when you laminate that ultrasound it will turn black, I mean it. In fact, knowing this type of this is part of my training. So, when you proceed to tell me you have done it before and it will be fine, you just look like a jack ass when I do it and it does in fact turn black. Still, you proceed to get mad at me. I know you are insecure and all, but don't take your inadequacies out on the copy girl. Thank you.

7. No, your children cannot come behind the counter. Neither can you. It's not cute when little Johnny is playing hide and seek and runs behind the counter. It is a safety hazard, and the company I work for can, and probably will be sued (by you!). Please, just keep your children at bay; That way, I can finish your order without worrying that Johnny will burn him self on the laminating machine, and you get your copies faster.

8. Oh, you need a receipt for that 3 cent copy? No you don't. Be reasonable.

9. The prices for basic items are located in the on the counter, and in the brochers we have. So when you ask me to make you 1,000 color copies, I am going to do it. If you don't ask me the price, I assume you know. Do you go to a restaurant, order a pizza and when the bill comes say "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know it would be that much."? NO. It would be rediculous if you did that. So when you look at me and say "My, it's THAT much for 1,000 copies?" I will just stare at you waiting for my money. The restaurant might be able to sell that pizza to another person. I probably wouldn't be able to sell your copies of 'Were The Nazis Environmentally Friendly?' to the rest of my daily customers.

10. I can not copy certain documents for you. I mean, physically I can, but legally--well, its illegal. Do you know what copyright is? It means it is not yours to copy without permission. Also, there is a list of things that are illegal to color copy, such as money and drivers license (nevermind LAMINATING those copies!). I realize that maybe you don't know that, but I just told you. So now you know. Asking me why not just makes me want denying doing anything for you at all.

11. This is not an auto dealership. You can not try and bargain the price down. Why someone would do that is beyond what I could think up. We have a price list. The copies go down in price the more you get. What don't you understand?

12. When you hand me your papers to be copied, don't say "don't read that information, its private." Well sir, I really did want to read your letter to your girlfriend about your infatuation with sheep because it fascinates me to no end--But since you asked so nicely, I will try ever so hard to tear myself away from reading about whatever it is that you are copying. I don't give a damn if you are copying pictures of a taco in the sunset. I could care less. I just want to make your copies and be paid.

I hope you have found this list helpful, and not too offensive. Of course not all my customers are like this, in fact, the majority are very wonderful to do business with. As always, the few people out there who should not even be allowed out in public can ruin my days. Thanks to all my wonderful customers! You make this job worth the time and effort.

It is always in good personal appeal to show up to your first day of work in the proper attire and on time. For example if you show up with your close wrinkled or indecent clothing and shoes on these things will give your fellow co-workers a negative impression as to how you handle yourself and how you will effect the work place environment. And no matter what kind of job you worked previous to when you are working with some one and you smell hideous. Then more than likely you will have issues getting assistance when the help is needed. In further situations, taking the time and preparing yourself for your first day at work will show the need for learning and motivation to your fellow co-workers.

Most co-workers won't expect you to remember their name the first day, but what if you do? I can tell you that it will impress your co-workers in the way that you have good listening skills, and when the help is needed they will be glad to help you. Knowing everyone's name creates good communication skills and adequate working skills. Even though you might not know anything about the job yet, knowing the names of the people will help you in accomplishing your work assignments. Once again everyone on their first day on the job will feel lost, confused, or even nervous at times during the first day of work. Don't get discouraged, focus on your work assignment and take it one step at a time. And if you do happen to do something wrong then approach the issue with showing that you do know how to except responsibility and correct the problem.

In conclusion, your first foot steps on the job have changed your lifestyle even if you have not realized it yet. And so I leave you with this,” If there is nothing else for you to learn in your life long career then it is time for a career change.” So never get to the point where you think you know it all, because there is always going to be something you didn't know. And I hope that you have a better understanding on what to expect at your new job now. And these things will help you accomplish your dreams, goals, and put you on the rite path to success.

Thank you for coming and I hope this article will help somebody to become the best at there new job that they can be.

Whilst some of the big blue-chip companies will have the option of reducing their dependency on the temporary sources, such as contractors and perhaps reducing their outsourcing budgets many will face the only other option - redundancy.

From the perspective of the workforce, a voluntary redundancy package may seem attractive - perhaps you are close enough to retirement age and have a good pension so that it would be no hardship for you to take a "deal" however small it may be.

However, for the majority (especially here in the UK) in-voluntary or compulsory redundancy is likely to be the norm.

So how can you face this daunting, perhaps frightening prospect and survive the process - coming out the other side ready to face the challenges of the next era of your life ?

Don't panic. Take deep breaths. Stay Calm.

We're human. We're react differently - some worse than others. There are usually two types of character that surface given this scenario, which you've probably come across before - flight or fight.

We tend to make the most rash decisions when we are under pressure, stress, or in a state of fear - sometimes that's flight, we try and run away. So don't allow yourself to be rash or irrational. Check your reactions and try and adopt a measure of the "other type" however hard that may be - it's your choice at the end of the day !

You may not have the true "fight"ing spirit within you, however, you can at least keep your wits about you and commit to making it through this in one piece. Get a sense for what this experience really means to you and what the real impact will be.

Take stock of the situation

"Is it really as bad as I'm imagining this ?" Do you have anything to fall back on?
Again, there are usually two type of people in these situations - those that plan ahead and have set aside something or those that think "I'll do that next year....".
These are often referred to as "back-up plans" or in simple terms - Plan B!!
Hopefully you've put something in place in those earlier years to give yourself a buffer, and if so, take some encouragement in the fact that you're prepared to weather a little uncertainty.

Look for the opportunity

You know what they always say, "It's not what happens to you that matters, but what you do about what happens". That might not be quite what you want to hear right now, but take a minute to think about it: might this sudden change be a silver lining to the big cloud hanging over you ? Commit yourself to finding out. Take some time for yourself, take a long walk in the open air (I like walking on a beach, there's something therapeutic about the waves!), even just a few quiet hours alone and just allow yourself to reflect on all the things you truly liked and disliked about your job.

Anything you might have done differently? Were you there because you had to be, or
because you wanted to be?

Use the here-and-now to shape your next-step, by learning from your past experiences. Is there a chance to take a step up the ladder? Maybe changing career path completely if you're not as happy as you wanted to be? So many times, abrupt changes like this are exactly what people need to get out of a rut and move on to something they'd really love to be doing.

Make the most of the power of your contacts network
You might be surprised, but I bet you have a lot more friends, colleagues and supporters than you realise. Dig out your address books, go through the PDA, the business card files and social networks you may be hooked into, to see who's really in your "inner circle" - those that are closer to you - without discounting your wider network, who might be able to help lead you to some new potential opportunities. Talk to friends and family and see who they know as well.

Then start reaching out to catch up with as many people as you can. Get in contact with old friends online (try one of the re-union websites, you never know!), send a load of emails (be prepared for some to bounce though due to old addresses!), even invite a few perhaps more local ones for coffee or a drink down the old favourite "haunts".
Start talking to everyone you can! Ask your contacts who else you should be talking to, then reach out to them. Update (or get some if you don't have any) your online profiles with the latest news and let people know that you're actively exploring your options. This is not the time to hide out and wallow. Just make sure you force yourself to smile and at least appear to have a positive outlook for the future (some call this fake-it till-you-make-it" !).
Repeat the mantra to yourself: "onward and upward!"...until you believe it.

Take stock of your finances

Probably THE most important thing to do once you've got that breathing back under control and a chance to let the RSI subside after all the sudden keyboard activity above!
You are far more likely to think calmly and rationally now, so your aim is to find out the true state of your financial affairs.
If you can (you probably came across a very friendly one during the networking exercise above), sit down with a financial consultant who will know how to ask you the right (sometimes hard hitting) questions to get a proper assessment.
Take a very careful look at any compensation you received (if you're lucky), benefits packages (like insurance policies, pension or private health plans etc.) that you may be able to "roll over" from your old company's employee schemes. (Take care of this right away too!).

Remember the "who you know" of the Senior Execs

If you managed to do a good job and leave the right impressions with your previous bosses and other senior management, it might just pay off in real dividends now.
Keep in close contact with them!!!

The more connected they are (and the chances are they will be), the faster they will probably find their next great opportunities and look to set themselves up for success in their new post. When that happens, seasoned executives will take quick measures to surround themselves with the people they know and trust. They will build new teams from people they know and that of course could include you!

Make it known that you're up for the new adventure if you are.

Leverage your own skillset

What can you do to leverage (to get ever more with ever less) the experience that you've had so far and the skills you've been building? What do you know that others might still want to know? (remembering any anti-competitive agreements you may have). How can you use what you've learned to your benefit and to the benefit of others?

Never discount trying something new

Employment prospects or ideas you hear about from friends and relatives might not sound quite right at first, some may even sound downright suspicious ! However, give them a chance to explain and give yourself a chance to explore a bit. Don't limit your options too soon. Try imagining yourself working in a whole new situation and consider whether you might find your vocation in life in some other industry than you'd previously envisioned.
You might actually learn something new that you never expected, or even discover a connection with something that does actually fit you.

Keep yourself Fit & Healthy - or get fit !

Whether you've been really diligent about taking care of yourself while employed or have totally forgotten what wearing a pair of trainers feels like, make your health a major priority now.

Take some extra time to sleep, get some fresh air, take the dog for its walk yourself (!) walk on your own, have a short run, do some yoga - whatever makes you feel your best. The endorphins will help a lot in bringing a smile and positive outlook to your face. You'll also project more confidence as you go out to pursue other opportunities. You never know who you'll meet along that run either!

View this as an opportunity to prepare yourself better for the next adventure
At this moment in time, it might seem to you like the end of the world, but the good news is that if you can weather this storm, you'll only be better prepared for the next adventure - however tough the ride may be. Just remember that the journey of life has a habit of throwing in the odd rough patch - what you can do now to prepare yourself will stand you in good stead for the future.

There are many reasons why employees are so involved in gossips and one of them is jealousy. There is a saying that “an empty vessels make the most negative noise”, employees who love to spread rumors against fellow co-workers are usually the non-performers in the organization. Therefore, they are jealous on employees who are performing well in the company. It is their way of grabbing the spotlight and the attention from everyone.

Gossipers are usually the “strategist” but most of the time they are technically the no-brainers. They are individuals who are blind to see the good qualities of a person but rather centers on other people's faults. They are dangerous to be with because the last thing you'll know, he or she is already spreading negative rumors about you.

Below are some tips on how to survive gossips in your workplace:

Stay away from negative people and gossip mongers. There is a saying that birds of the same feathers flock together and being associated with these people will only attract negative vibrations to your already complicated career. Employees who are lazy in performing their functions are usually the gossipers in the workplace and management are not happy to see such herd in their organization. If you still want to keep your career, then channel your attention away from these types of employees.

Confront the gossipers. If you are being victimized by an absurd and preposterous gossip in your workplace, find the source and confront them diplomatically. Set the records straight right at their face. However, most instigators when confronted will always deny that they are source of the grapevine.

1. Eye for an Eye

   Sometimes we have to fight fire with fire. If confrontation is no longer effective, reveal some dreadful and devastating truth about the gossiper. Let them have a dose of their own medicine.

2. Stand Tall

   Workplace gossipers are spreading lies and rumors about you because they will gain something by defaming you. So stand tall and show them you're not affected by their lies. Let their hate and lies eat them up inside and sooner or later it will become lethal and will stain all the people around them.

3. Walk the Right Path

   If you live your life righteously, gossipers will have a hard time in defaming you. Also, righteous people do not have time to discredit others because they believe that gossiping is an unethical business.

Being attacked by a malevolent gossip and propaganda can be a very hurtful experience. But as long as you believe that you have not wronged yourself and other people, the idle rumors and vicious remarks will eventually dissolve like water. Gossipers cannot put a good man down.

Odor Tester

This job does seem to be more than a little unpleasant, and I'm sure that not just anyone would want to do it. But someone has to, and I've heard that the money can be good. If you have the nose for it, that is.

Weed Farmer

No, I'm not talking about the weed that you can smoke! Weed farmers actually grow weeds and then sell them to horticulture schools and labs for research purposes. I know it sounds a little more exciting than it really is but they do provide an important service.

Carny

Who didn't dream about running away to join a circus or carnival as a young child? If you love to travel and meet new people then this just might be the job for you. True you usually don't spend more than a couple of nights in each town, and the work is hard. But the pay is good and you'll never find yourself bored with this job.

Pet Food Tester

It's hard to believe, but some pet food manufacturers actually employee human taste testers. I would think that they would do better using pets, but the testers say that they have trained their palate to detect the types of foods enjoyed by cats and dogs.

Furniture Tester

This is one job that's sure to excite any couch potato. Can you imagine actually getting paid to sit on a couch? This would be the perfect job for me, just as long as I had my laptop. But unfortunately the job isn't as glamorous as it sounds. After all not just anyone can do a job like this one.

Snake Milker

A snake milker collects venom from a live snake, snake milking is vital to produce antivenin. With the price of some snake venoms bringing $2000 per gram, in spite of the obvious dangers snake milking can be a very profitable job. Most snake milkers will be bitten several times during their career. Luckily for them antivenin is always close at hand and because of this death from the bites is extremely rare.

Laughter Therapist

Laughter it has been said, is the best medicine. Believe it or not there really is a big calling for laughter therapists. Laughter has been found to relieve pain and stress and contributes to a persons overall health by boosting a persons immune system. Overall this one sounds like a pretty good job.

Wrinkle Chaser

This job actually has nothing to do with your skin. And I guarantee that if you try and use an iron to remove facial wrinkles all you're going to end up with is a nasty burn. But it would be nice of we could just smooth out our skin so easily.  A wrinkle chaser, a job by the way that is in high demand inspects and removes wrinkles from shoes using a specialty iron.

Begin with another question, why? Why am I doing this? Am I interested in this or is it to pay bills and meet my responsibilities? Or worse, are you taking a path that ‘seems like a sensible option’ or is similar to what friends and family are doing? Is you current position in the office more about meeting the expectations of others than your personal ambitions in life? Did you only intend to do your current office job for a short while and suddenly 5 years whizzed by!

Let’s examine what is really involved in terms of costs and rewards. The rewards are salary & benefits, security, career progression and the social interaction. Some of these need to be looked at a little closer to see if they really can be classified as rewards. Office workers are rarely satisfied with their pay and many resignations coincide with the salary review month. Most offices have an ‘un-official’ salary cap and it is never really negotiable regardless of what your boss tells you! Turnover is an accepted part of office life and managers tend to roll with the punches, an employee unhappy with their wage almost always has to simply live with it.

Job security is not what it once was, most office workers know little about who actually owns the company and how quickly ownership can change hands. With low cost alternatives common, fierce competition in the market place and countries like China emerging as a major force, times are much less certain. Career progression is more about long hours, sacrifices and politics than ideas and ability and the social side often tends to involve complaining about the above!!

And what about the costs? Long hours, cramped desks, little control of what you do or the people you work with. Tiresome commuting, fatigue and burnout. Stress and other health problems. Generally most office environments are identical: three trays of paper, phone and computer, 6-8 people to a bank of desks and a watercooler in the corner for the Monday morning gossip! The biggest cost comes to those doing a job they have no passion for and this is the cost of routine. Continuous, monotonous routine. A sense of life passing them by, dreams fading and little to look forward to. This erosion of spirit is the biggest cost and can be witnessed both by the office worker’s body language in the office and the transformation of this body language once they are out of the office! Why do so many office workers over indulge on the weekend, is it to get the working week out of their system or to drown the thoughts of having to go back on Monday? Is weekend excess a symptom of office life? It appears many live for Friday night and the other days of the week are simply to be endured until 5.00 Friday rolls around. Can this be what they want from life? If so why is it so hard to get out of bed on Monday mornings?

Now try and imagine how things might be if you have a passion for what you do. Imagine being challenged by your work and enjoying looking for a solution. Imagine having strong opinions about what you do and having a true desire to excel in your given field. Imagine looking forward to Monday morning as much as you look forward to Friday night! Imagine the feeling of satisfaction that comes with genuine progress. If you do what you love the money will come in time. You enjoy it, you want to do it, time flies by and you will only get better at it. The money will quickly follow as well as the rewards that money cannot buy. Pursuing a career you really want is not easy but you will find it is worth the struggle. Or rather, there will come a point when there is no longer a struggle, just a sense of purpose and satisfaction. Do teenagers really go to bed at night dreaming of one day becoming a Pensions Administrator, an Accountant or a Legal Secretary? Yet the majority end up in those or similar office roles. Perhaps letting go of childish dreams is their big mistake?

Career choice involves important decisions. It is difficult for graduates to assess office life without having experienced it. A summer student placement can be a real eye opener! The independence that comes with earning money can sometimes lead you down a path that you have not given enough thought to and before you know it you are part of a system. Ultimately decisions from a place of genuine courage will serve you best. The courage to go after what you truly desire will have a major impact on your quality of life. This courage involves a few things, ignoring the fear of rejection (rejection will happen, it is part of the journey), believing in yourself more and worrying less about what other people think.

The truth is there is nothing to stop you but yourself. Excuses and reasons why not are not hard to come up with, but taking the plunge is difficult. Most rewarding things don’t come easy but the sweet is all the sweeter when you have tasted the sour! The first step is the hardest but attitude and determination will see you go a long way. One thing is for sure, if you don’t go after the job you want, someone else will! There is one other question when wondering if the daily grind is really worth it. How would you like to answer someone when they one day ask ‘what have you been doing for the last twenty years’? No doubt you wish to look fondly back on a career filled with great memories. If someone asks you right now to name three genuinely exciting things that have happened to you professionally in the last year, what would you say? If you cannot think of one then perhaps it is time to ask ‘Is the 9.00 to 5.00 daily grind really worth it’?

Before spending any time contemplating whether or not you are working for a quality employer, you must make sure your employment represents a basic “value equation.” Your talent may be to teach. Teaching is a difficult, though not impossible, craft to package and re-sell as an independent contractor. So, an educator could easily determine that the basic “value equation” associated with his employment is the packaging and resale of his teaching talent. A consultant, on the other hand, may identify a different value equation. She may be able to package and re-sell her talent individually, but have a specific health situation that causes her to need group health insurance. This benefit (the health insurance) represents the “value equation” associated with her employment.

If you cannot identify the basic “value equation” associated with your employment, then maybe you should consider becoming an independent contractor. It may not matter whether or not you are working for a loser. If, however, you are like the majority of people and you can identify your basic “value equation,” then read on. Now that you understand why you are working for someone else, it is time to make sure you are working for a quality employer.

Demographics suggest that there will be significantly fewer people working than not working, as the baby boomers age. To say the least, there will be a shortage of talent. Successful companies have anticipated this trend for a while, and understand that building an employee centered culture takes time. Yet, many companies are stuck in the old paradigm of, “The employees should feel lucky to have their jobs.” With the exception of a very few extreme circumstances, these companies will not survive.

So, what makes an employer a loser? Here are a few characteristics to look for:

• Performance is measured by hours worked and time served - rather than outcomes delivered
• You do not know the strategic direction of the firm
• Employees are not involved in the hiring and evaluation of leadership
• You cannot trust your immediate supervisor, and do not feel free to speak your mind and take chances
• If your job requires travel, you are required to front the expenses and get paid back more than 15 days later. (You are loaning your company money - interest free).
• You feel insecure about your position - constantly worrying about what your boss and the company think of your performance
• You are unable to name at least two specific initiatives your company uses to make you feel you are a valuable part of the team
• Work-life balance is never discussed and not considered important by your company
• Employees are not treated fairly
• The employer does not want employees to better themselves, and uses negative communication when an employee leaves

If you experience more than one of these, on a regular basis, you may be working for a LOSER. Whether your company is big or small, it may be a waste of energy to try to change the culture. If you are the CEO, owner, or a senior leader, you can influence the culture of your company. You need to contemplate whether or not your company truly considers employees an asset. You should. And, you can begin to change your culture today.

If you're not a senior leader in your company, and you believe you might be working for a loser, it is time to make a plan. Loser employers, whether intentionally or not, have the effect of “de-powering” employees. They make you feel like you do not have any options, you should be grateful for you're your job (because you don't deserve it), you would fail without them, and your boss must be made happy for you to survive. Loser employers thrive on making employees feel insecure. So, you need to begin to balance the power in your employment relationship.

One of the best ways to gain some power in your employment relationship is to begin to prepare your self for a change. Start with updating your resume. If it has been a while, search for resources on resume formats and styles. The Internet has changed the way we format resumes. Join LinkedIn, and consider other networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace. Remember, these are public sites. They will be available for your employer to view. This, though, is part of the dynamic that begins to rebalance the power in your relationship. Consider hiring a recruiter and look for opportunities. Whether or not you're serious about leaving, getting practice at applying and interviewing for jobs is one of the best ways to gain power in an employment relationship.

The bottom line is that you must first have a positive basic “value equation.” You must be getting one of the basic three needs met by employment: security, health insurance (or some other needed benefit), or the packaging and resale of your product or service. If you don't need one of these, then you should consider being an independent contractor. If you do, then you need to evaluate your employer to determine whether or not it is a loser. If your employer is a loser, then it is time to make a plan to regain some of the power in the relationship.

1. Keep personal phone conversations to a minimum. I don't care what you're having for dinner tonight and I don't care if your daughter's son finally did graduate to "big boy" underpants. It was about time, isn't he three? I've been listening to you and your daughter trying to potty train this kid for two years!
2. Do not talk so loud that everyone in the entire office can hear you regardless if it is personal or business. Conversation, especially in a cubicle, should be kept to a low decibel, like just between you and the person with whom you are conversing.
3. If you are conducting business, again do not talk so loud so everyone can hear simply because you want everyone to hear you are actually doing your job.
4. Personal belongings such as pictures or plants, keep them to a minimum. No one but you loves your family like you do so why put 125 pictures of you, your mate, the kids, the kids' kids out on display for the world to see. One or two perhaps even three or four tasteful pictures and plants are plenty to claim your cubicle is your own.
5. Please do something with that stack of papers that has been in the left corner of your cubicle for the past decade. If I've noticed it time and again, surely your superior has too.
6. If work is piling up on your desk and your desk looks like a bomb exploded on it, look around for some "trays." At least that is a way to have a spot for all your work that has either been addressed or is yet to be addressed.
7. We know you are clean because your cubicle is the one with all the cleaning supplies from the Dollar Store. Hey, it's great to be clean, but you aren't a cleaning woman. You are a professional. One can of Lysol of and one roll of paper towels is plenty when you want to do a quick clean up.
8. Speaking of quick clean ups-when your trash is overflowing out of the tiny trash can they provide in those cubicles, take the small one that is overflowing and find the huge one that you can empty your tiny one into.
9. Everyone loves a delicious lunch but when it stinks up the entire office, be kind and dispose of the container in the "big" trashcan outside the cubicle area or at least wash out the container in which you brought your lunch, and don't forget to take the container home. Nothing is worse than walking into someone's cubicle and see and old dish or container growing mold-oooooh!
10. If you smoke or drink, try keeping some mouthwash or an odor freshener handy. People who do not smoke or drink, their noses are quite sensitive. And, yes, I'm talking about alcohol. You'd be surprised how many people come to work the next morning still drunk from the night before. Your co-workers can smell the alcohol. Keep some gum handy too!

Aptly, this is a social gathering of that most ancient English craft, church bellringers. Not campanologists, we have some fierce objection to that term that I've never fully got to the bottom of, but bellringers. That is what we do. Ring bells. Not just that of course. Whilst for many it is the primary focus of their spare time, it is an exciting, interesting and fulfilling square in the rich tapestry of lifestyle that Suffolk offers. Young, old and those who choose not to commit to either are attracted to a hobby that at it's core has changed little for hundreds of years. So what keeps something so ancient and traditional alive in an age when ancient and traditional are incredibly uncool, especially among the young, the very people we need to keep this worthwhile past-time going?

Well essentially, speaking as someone who at 29 hasn't quite given up the trappings of youth, events like the barbecue described above help. A chance to glow in the social richness of such a splendid undertaking. I've been ringing for 20 years - as you clever people have probably already worked out, that's since I was 9 - and in that time ringing has taken me around the country, across to Ireland, into huge houses to converse on a level field with lords, ladies and sirs and more importantly it has given me hundreds - and I mean hundreds - of friends. I met my girlfriend through ringing, the first word I heard my son say was "ding" and I've even made money out of it, although nothing to write home about. Frankly, without ringing my life would be completely different and in my humble opinion much the worse for it. That's not to say it's all I have. A large proportion of my friends have never stepped inside a belfry and although interested in what I do, don't profess to know anything about it, still quoting the perpetual myth of people sailing to the ceiling. When time and finances permit, I try to get to the North Stand Lower at Portman Road, where I can hurl abuse and swear at a referee I don't know whilst cheering the lads on.

Bellringing is what I'm good at though. Perhaps this is what appealed to me as a youngster, if you'll excuse the pun. I was never brilliant at school, although competent and despite dreams of scoring the winning goal for England in the World Cup Final as Ipswich's star player, I wasn't ever going to make the grade on the football pitch. Any time the ball came to me I'd freeze, the indecisiveness that still haunts me today attacking me at the worst moment. No, ringing was where I was good and the plaudits I would receive from those who had been ringing for years were enough for me to ride the jibes of the difficult school years.

Even if I hadn't had been that good at it, I enjoyed the opportunity that my parents afforded me in the craft. I went to places I would never experienced, met extraordinary people I wouldn't otherwise have met and been given responsibilities that I couldn't of dreamt of if I wasn't a bellringer.

Admittedly for the young person today it is harder to feel enticed to such a hobby and it's not just ringing that has suffered. All sorts of hobbies struggle on with ageing participants, whilst teenagers and even younger play on computer games, watch SKY TV, drink, smoke and generally loiter. Although certainly not the occupation of all youngsters and despite their protestations of "having nothing to do", it seems an impossible task to encourage young people in the 21st century to come anywhere near a church, let alone then entice them into a belfry.

And here lies perhaps our biggest hurdle. The church. Or more specifically the perception of churches and the folk who inhabit them. It's true that the bells are part and parcel of church life and that's how it should be. Many ringers too are members of the congregations they ring for, but there is a large number, if not the majority of ringers who don't go to church services, much to the frustration of some clergy. In fact, some make no secret of being atheists. Indeed, more and more ringers are putting "mini-rings" - rung just like church bells but much, much smaller - in the homes, sheds, garages and even pubs, meaning it's possible to enjoy ringing without stepping foot into a church if you didn't want to, although this would deprive you of much enjoyment in itself. You are certainly not going to be drawn into religion if you don't want to be. This may sound contradictory, but as well as the duty of service ringing, there is a growing proportion of ringers who partake in this queerly viewed tradition as a opportunity to progress themselves mentally and/or physically. Methods - our music as it were - grow ever more complex as you continue your bellringing odyssey, the challenge of bigger bells looms large and the chance to climb the ladder to national recognition keeps people - particularly of a younger age - enthusiastic. You never stop learning and enjoying this hobby. I have rung with 8 year olds and 95 year olds that are still learning, looking to reach the next level and there are now simulators and computers that help aid this progress.

Perhaps that's the key to keeping this amazing heart of British life beating.