What was Hot, isn't

At one time fat was considered sexy, it was a sign of wealth. If you were fat, you could afford food. At a point art so often depicted chubby looking women, at it became a standard of perfection to be a bit chunky. Of course what few people realized is that some artists were using corpses for models, as such the women in the paintings tended to be a bit bloated.
Being overweight is not healthy, nor is being underweight. Some men adore women with "meat on their bones" and other men, prefer the waifs.

One or Two?

Some men find women more attractive in pairs. They enjoy watching women together, or even with another male. Is this necessarily sexy, or just sexual? Since a mans mind thinks about sex far more frequently than a woman, perhaps he figures with more women, the better his chances are.

Many men have at one time or another, fantasized about being with more than one girl at a time. Other men are purely monogamous. Even when happily with one woman, they often still desire to look at other women purely for sexual fantasy.

Leather or Lace?

Some men prefer soft fabrics on a woman, silk and lace. White to show purity, fabrics that show softness and femininity. Some fabrics cling to a womans body better than others, showing the curves and her natural shape, silk and lace is more sexy to most men, than is flannel.

Some men prefer their women to be a bit more individual in dress, more avant-garde, not so powdery perfect. I have to admit I fall into the second type of male here. My wife puts on black, and look out!

Are you a Breast man?

Some men are attracted to a woman's breasts more than any other feature, thus women often go to enormous lengths to accentuate their breasts. Simple things like a specialized, uplifting bra are often used, but some women also use duct tape to lift their breasts and create a fuller, firmer look. Further extremes involve surgery, which, in some cases, have caused health problems.

Other men are attracted to a nice round, firm rump, and long legs. Women have used devices to make their bum look rounder, and have put their feet through pain by wearing high healed shoes, just to look sexier for men, or their man in particular.

Less is More

Sometimes seeing less is more sexy and sensual than seeing every little detail. This model is truly sexy, her back is revealed, and her face is at an angle that suggests some mystery. In many cases men find partially clothed women more sexy than fully naked women. The mystery is captivating, the thrill of convincing her to undress, and the desire to watch it are undeniably male traits.

But Can She Cook?

Some foods are aphrodisiacs, they make either the male or female feel more sexually aroused, one of the best known foods for this is oysters. Foods that are high in iron are important for sexuality. Additionally, they say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Fill a man up with good food and he will love you forever. If so my wife had better take care, because in our home, I do all the cooking.

All photos were from Wikimedia with the exception of the Goth girls and the sexy broccoli, which were from Flickr. Please check all licensing agreements before using any of these great photos.

Ylang Ylang Essential Oil can be used to treat sexual problems. It has the ability to energise the body and intensify sexual desire, hence arousing emotional feelings between lovers.

Anise Essential Oil is used to arouse sex and lust. It induces a warm and sensuous feeling, especially in women.

Rose Otto Essential Oil helps to balance the hormones. It works best for women, helping to increase vaginal secretion during sex. Acting as a tonic and boosting libido, it invokes passionate feelings among lovers. It is also said to boost sexuality in men.

Jasmine Essential Oil lifts moods as it helps to boost energy levels. It can be used to counter frigidity, impotence and premature ejaculation.

Neroli Essential Oil is a powerful aphrodisiac that reduces stress. It helps to increase libido, especially in women, and is beneficial in treating sexual problems.

Agarwood Essential Oil is said to be one of the most effective aphrodisiac among the oils. It acts as a tonic that calms the nerves and relieves stress and anxiety, so as to prepare the body and mind for a wonderful sexual experience. 

Lavender Essential Oil enhances blood flow to sexual organs and helps to boost female sensitivity.

Sandal Wood Essential Oil works best for men. The sweet woody scent enhances physical intimacy and enables lovers to open up and be more experimental in sex. It also calms the nerves and improves blood circulation, making it useful for relieving sexual obstacles.

Tuberose Essential Oil relieves stress and anxiety. A powerful aphrodisiac, it stimulates the brain and has a warming effect on the organs to improve blood circulation.

Coriander Essential Oil stimulates the hormones responsible for sexual desire. It helps to increase libido and cures temporary impotence. 

Mace Essential Oil is an aphrodisiac that warms the body and increase blood circulation. It is a sex stimulant similar to Nutmeg.

Cumin Essential Oil has the ability to induce sexual desire in men and boost fertility in women.

Benzoin Essential Oil helps in preventing premature ejaculation.

Clove Bud Essential Oil lifts depression and is used as a sexual stimulant. It is a great stress reliever and energy booster, which helps to stimulate and revitalise sexual passion between lovers.

Vetiver Essential Oil helps to ease different types of stress and tensions, especially those that cause sexual difficulties.

Cistus Essential Oil is as an aphrodisiac that has a rich, warm and spicy aroma. It can soothe, stimulate and elevate moods.

Cardamon Essential Oil helps to arouse the body and mind and is used to cure sexual incompetence.

Pine Needle Essential Oil has a positive effect on prostrate problems in men and is beneficial in treating impotence.

Ambrette Seed Essential Oil is an aphrodisiac that is used to overcome inhibitions of sexual desire. Its rich and musky smell has tonic properties that are relaxing and stimulating.

Clary Sage Essential Oil helps to boost libido and sexual desires. It is very effective in treating psychological problems that is caused by loss if libido, impotency, etc.

Myrrh Essential Oil is a great anti-depressant that strengthens and enhances spirituality.

Nutmeg Essential Oil is a natural aphrodisiac that helps to elevate the mind. It is also known for its stimulating properties that arouse emotions.

Vanilla Essential Oil is used to promote and arouse intense sexual behaviour by the production of hormones like estrogen and testosterone.

Cinnamon Essential Oil helps to arouse sexual desires and lifts the mood. It is a powerful physical and emotional stimulant that aids in blood circulation.

Geranium Essential Oil has a spicy floral scent that lifts the mood and maintains emotional stability. It relaxes and helps to calm the nerves.

Orange Bitter Essential Oil has a sweet and citrus scent that refreshes, invigorates, energises and prepares the body for better sex performance. It also calms and soothes the nerves.

Patchouli Essential Oil is useful in treating sexual problems including loss of libido, frigidity and impotence. It also helps to promote interest in sex.

Orange Blossom Essential Oil enables lovers to be more experimental in bed by enhancing sexual interest.

Words of caution

You should familiarize yourself with all the essential oils available in the market before using them. Some oils may not be suitable for pregnant women and people with certain illnesses. It is best that you consult a doctor or aroma therapist in advance. You should stop using them at once if irritation occurs.

Pomegranate

Pomegranate, known by many as the 'love apple', is an aphrodisiac that arouses sexual desire.

Celery

Celery helps to heighten the mood in women. It also contains the male hormone called androsterone that enhances masculine characteristics and initiates female attraction.

Asparagus

Asparagus is a libido booster, which is high in vitamin E (a great sex vitamin).

Sauerkraut

Sauerkraut (Sourcrout) is a type of fermented cabbage that is said to boost men's sexual activity after they consume it.

Oysters

Oysters have a high content of zinc, which is important in the production of testosterone. They boost sex hormones by producing two types of amino acids.

Liquorice

Liquorice roots induces the production of oestrogen, which is essential for sexual functioning.

Oats

Oats make wonderful energy booster and arouse the libido for greater sexual performance.  

Ginger

Ginger root stimulates circulation and increases blood flow to the vital sexual organ.

Garlic

Garlic contains an active ingredient called allicin, which boosts circulation and blood flow to sexual organs. 

Flaxseed

Flaxseeds increase testosterone and consist of essential fatty acids, such as Omega-3 and Omega-6, which help to increase the production of sex hormones.

Figs

Figs are rich in amino acids, which increase libido and boost sexual stamina. 

Fennel

Fennel has a libido-enhancing effect as it is rich in an oestrogen-like substance.

Dark Chocolate

Dark Chocolate promotes the release of endorphins.

Avocado

Avocado increases the female and male libido and contains vitamin B6, which enhances the production of male hormones.

Almonds

Almond contains essential fatty acids, which is important in the production of male hormones to regulate sex drive.

Bananas

Bananas contain vitamin B that converts carbohydrates into energy. It is said to boost the production of sex hormones like testosterone.

Basil

Basil increases circulation and is beneficial in stimulating the sex drive and boosting fertility.

Cardamom

Cardamom is a powerful aphrodisiac and is helpful in treating impotence.

For many couples, more so for the woman, sex is thought of as more of a duty and not a period of enjoyment. As your relationship grows so should your sex life. If this is not the case then some changes need to me made. Unfortunately, many couples assume that change requires a new partner, but that could not be further from the truth. There are several ways you and your current partner can experiment and bring new found excitement and pleasure into the bedroom.

One way to experiment is with the use of sex toys. Sex toys can bring a whole new level of fun and excitement into your bedroom. Toys can be used in multiple ways. There are a ton of accessories you can use such as blindfolds and massage oils. Please note that you do not have to get all "kinky" for sex toys to bring a new level of excitement into your bedroom.

You should also consider trying a new position. A new position can increase satisfaction during intercourse. It can also help you increase the number calories you burn. If you need ideas or suggestions consider purchasing a Kama Sutra book. Just remember that just because something looks nice on paper does not mean you will be able to try it. Some things may prove to be too difficult for you and your partner.

Watching pornographic videos is also a way you can use to experiment in the bedroom. Before jumping right into to it, consider putting in a movie. This can help loosen up everybody and get you ready for what is about to come. You may also get some new ideas. Depending on what you are looking for, you should be able to find instructional videos all the way up to hard-core pornographic videos.

Role playing is another great way to spice things up in your bedroom. Find out what your partner desires. Talk to your partner. Ask them what type of person they fantasize about and then you become that person. Trust me when I say, this will bring you more pleasure than you can imagine.

The above mentioned are just a few ways that will help you spice up your sex life. Before you try anything new make sure you discuss it with your partner. Don't assume that they are ready and willing to experiment. You and your partner should both be satisfied as a result of you experimenting.

If sex is non-existent in your relationship then that is a pretty good sign that your sex life needs to be improved. The first thing you need to do is figure out why you are not longer having sex. What issues are getting in the way? Is it work? Is it family? Figure out exactly what it is. This is the best way to fix the problem.

Sign #2 - How often do you have sex with your partner?

If you and your partner aren't being intimate on a regular basis then that is a sure sign that your sex life may need a little improving. Remember that each relationship is different. You will need to get with your partner and determine how many times you would like to be intimate with each other on a weekly basis. This will take a little compromising on both ends. You will have to take a lot of things into consideration such as your work schedule and your children if you have any. Whatever the case may be remember to always make time for intimacy. It is a vital part of a healthy relationship.

Sign #3 - Sex is boring and dull

If you are no longer excited about being intimate with your partner then that is a sign that your sex life may need improving. When sex becomes more of a chore rather then something you enjoy doing with your partner then some changes need to be made IMMEDIATLEY! You should be excited about having sex with your partner.

Sign #4 - Are you and your partner growing distant?

If so this could be a sign that your sex life needs to be improved. Though your relationship should not resolve around sex, it should be considered an important part. Use the bedroom to help bring you and your partner closer together. As your sex life improves you might also see other parts of your relationship improve as well.

If any of the above signs describe your sex life then you should consider making a few changes. Make time for sex. Experiment more and consider trying a new position or even a sex toy. Remember to stay open minded.

 

Gingko nut

Image Source

The maidenhair tree produces this special nut. The gingko nut is very popular in China and many fables and stories have been told about its magical qualities. The gingko nut helps the circulation of blood to the rest of the body. Improved circulation helps arouse the libido in both males and females. The gingko nut has been around for almost 300 million years. Gingko nuts are considered to be a delicacy in China. They are used in stir fries and stews in China. They can also be roasted.

Ginger

Image Source

Ginger has been used in cooking for thousands of years. It also originated in China. It is a primary spice used in all forms of food preparation in Asia. Ginger has been found to aid in the treatment of nausea and diarrhea. China is a major producer of this ancient spice. Ginger is used in all kinds of holistic medicines as well. Ginger is also used to increase the sexual libido in both human males and females. Ginger has been used to increase sexual drive for many years before the birth of Christ.

So incorporate these naturally organic aphrodisiacs into your life and see if you have an increased libido for more adult activities!

 

• Women have better sense of smell than men
  
  Women can smell whether a companion smoked a cigarette, or sipped wine, wearing perfume or not and many others.
• Men have better sense of humor than women
  
  As evidence, there are more movie comedians than comediennes.
  

  

  
  Women mature earlier than men. At age 17 most women are already matured, whether physically or emotionally.
  
• Women are more talkative than men
  
  It has been a proven fact that women speak more frequent than men.
• Men are polygamous by nature
  
  There's no doubt and there's nothing to debate about it.
• Women are monogamous by nature
  
  The same holds true with this fact.
• Men are more aggressive than women
  
  Men proved their aggressiveness through their being adventurous. They are at the same time more aggressive sexually.
• Men are possessive and women are submissive
  
  Though men are polygamous, they want their women to be theirs alone. Most women submit themselves to the will of their man.
• Men are physically stronger than women
  
  This is very evident on the physical differences between men and women.
• Women are emotionally stronger than men
  
  Though we tend to see women crying all the time they are stronger emotionally. Men easily get depress and there are more men admitted in mental asylums.
• Women are more caring than men
  
  From the womb until we grow it's our mother who took care of us.
  
• Women's favorite past time is gossiping
  
  It's the cheapest form of entertainment anyway.
  
• When a man loves - it's now and then
  
  This is in consonance with their being polygamous.
  
• When a woman loves - it's now and forever
  
  More or less they tend to love now and forever. Most women have hard time forgetting their first love.

In this piece I will investigate two very different approaches on how the bible is interpreted with respect to the issue of homosexuality by comparing the viewpoints of two esteemed authors on biblical texts.

The first perspective to be explored belongs to Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger. Having a very conservative Catholic view, Ratzinger interprets the bible in a very literal sense. Take the passage Corinthians 6:9 for example. It states that “Neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts (arsenokoitai, malakoi), nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.” Cardinal Ratzinger believes that this passage “proposes that those who behave in a homosexual fashion shall not enter the Kingdom of God” (Ratzinger, 41). There is not any where in this passage that the term homosexuality appears, yet Ratzinger directs his interpretation of this passage specifically at homosexuality. Another note worthy point is that Ratzinger does not speak of any of the other sinful roles that were mentioned in the passage with in his own interpretation.

Cardinal Ratzinger has been a very devout Catholic his whole life. In practicing his faith Ratzinger learned that when there is a question about something in modern society, it is best to approach some one else of a higher status with in the Catholic Church. Where this becomes problematic is when there are new questions and issues from modern day culture that cannot be answered with out going outside of the church. In this event, I think the people of the magisterium decide what would best support the church and adhere to their previous interpretations. Then they seek out the passages from the bible that reinforce their answers.

In comparison to Ratzinger, Dale Martin has a different approach to reading the bible. He takes a more non-literal approach when reading and interpreting it. Martin is an esteemed scholar who published Sex and the Single Savior, a work that was released in 2006. He believes that biblical texts do not take on the same meaning now as they did in the time that they were written. Cultures change with time and there for the context of the words change as well. What Martin tries to do is teach people to take biblical texts and interpret them within their original social and historical context.

Some Christians believe the bible to be the true words of God. In the reader's eyes, God is an “agent” that literally “speaks” to them (Cates, 3/31/08). Dale Martin refers to this concept as the myth of textual agency. His argument is that the words with in the bible have no specific meaning. Since this is the case, Martin believes that reactive readers will interpret the message according to their own lives and not stop to think about what the message really was at the point in time when this piece of text was written (Cates, 3/31/08).

Both Martin and Ratzinger have a very different approach to reading and interpreting the bible. Ratzinger interprets the bible literally and does not take into account the original social context in which the words were written. He attempts to attach the words in the passages to modern day situations to explain why that situation is a sin. On the other hand, Martin takes a non-literal approach to reading and interpreting the bible. He stops to realize that there was a certain social context in which the bible was written and that each passage may not necessarily hold true in today's society. The approach to biblical interpretation that I find most compelling is Dale Martins. Like Martin, I believe that it is very important to stop and remember the true context with which this text was written in instead of just attaching meanings that do not apply.

My initial thinking on homosexuality has not changed; the interpretive approach that I found more compelling reinforces my original view. If my viewpoint could be so easily changed by an argument as week as the one that is being offered by Cardinal Ratzinger then it would be clear that I hadn't really thought it through. I believe that homosexuality is not an abomination; all humans deserve to have love, passion, respect, and caring in their lives. Every person is unique and that should be celebrated and not condemned.

In closing, every person of faith takes a different approach to reading and interpreting the bible. Some approach the bible in a literal sense, while others approach it in a non-literal sense. It is some thing that has been debated for decades, but there really is no clear answer on how to interpret the bible. To quote a great country artist, Garth Brooks, “When we are free to love any one we choose. When this world is big enough for all different views. When we are all free to worship from our own kind of pew. We shall be free!”

So, this article is all about you cultivating the sexy in you! You can't cultivate something that you don't already have. So you must have sexy to cultivate it. And you do have sexy! Only sexy people are even reading this article. It called to you! Your inner self said, I am sexy and I want to get cultivated!

Well, let me get started with the only tool you will ever need. That is your mind. Your mind (your thoughts) is what produces your sexy. Some of you may be thinking "Nah, if I don't look like Halle Berry or Brad Pitt, then I am doomed!" That could not be further from the truth.

Sexy is not about outer looks at all, really. Outer looks fade miserably to the power of the great sexiness that I speak of. Without the love god Sexy, then Halle and Brad would not have a chance. But with you knowing the power of your sexy, you have all of the chances in the world!

Say it with me "I am sexy!" You may not have felt that deep down inside yet, but we will get you there. Say it again "I am sexy!" The mere act of saying this statement has already put your love libido in overhaul. Even if you may not feel it yet. Your mind is working right now to make this statement true.

Oh, and the great mind will avail. Being sexy or anything else for that matter is simple. The other a little less simple part is believing it. Even though believing is simple as well. We are going to get into a little mind chatter to help you cultivate your sexy mac vibe. So, let's go!

If you can believe it, then you can achieve it. That is an old adage and is most certainly true. So, my simple task is to tell you how to believe and your even more simple task is to learn to believe. This is what you need to cultivate your sexy.

First you must have a sincere desire to cultivate your sexy. Then you must think about just the mere word "sexy" on a regular basis. I know you are thinking this love scribe is crazy and just babbling off. But not in the least. I know that I am no beauty queen. But that is ok, because I have a very cultivated sexy and people tell me and show me all the time. Including people that I know and people that I don't know.

I cultivate my sexy daily by thinking about it various times during the day. I used to do this more often when I was a "non-believer." Now, that I believe, I think it without even trying to. I merely just think "I'm sexy!" "I am a sexy, chick, yeah!" When I see my reflection in the shopping mall window, I say "Wow, I'm looking stunning!"

Another thing that keeps my sexy flowing is the sexy walk. I walk like I'm sexy. I think while I'm walking..."I am the sexiest thing in this room!" This is not just for women. This is for men too. You don't have to walk like a woman to get sexy, unless walking like a woman is your thing. Then strut your stuff! Otherwise for our straight male readers. Walk around like you know something that I don't know.

There is also your appearance. Dress comfortably. The more uncomfortable you are in your clothes. The more that will show. You can dress nice and still be comfortable. I realize that I get more play on my lounge days than I do on the days that I am in full regalia. Even though I feel sexy in both cases. Everyone wants to be around someone who is comfortable in their own skin.

And definitely take care of your appearance. If you feel "blah" when you look in the mirror! Then you are not dressed nice. I don't care what you are wearing. When you look in the mirror you should smile. I am not saying that you need to buy a whole new wardrobe. Take pride in the wardrobe that you have. Iron it up, spruce it up with a little dye, or stitch it up! Ladies, put on a little make up. Men, keep your skin fresh with a little bit of facial wash.

I will do the next article tips for keeping your sexy, sexy on a budget.

For now, these are some simple tips for cultivating your sexy. Nothing hard. These simple little things will make a believer out of you. So, follow the ones you like and discard the ones that you don't and you will still see the simplicity of it work for you. It is just the simple things that make the grand things of life. Great people are the people that deal in the little things.

I have nothing at all against those who wait until marriage to have sex, I respect them for their personal strength and loyalty to their beliefs, but what I do not agree with are those who believe waiting until marriage is the only way to go. The narrow mindedness of individuals who feel there is only one “right” path to follow are afraid of what they do not know, afraid of doing something so taboo. It's kind of like the abortion issue, you are either pro-life or pro-choice. It isn't pro-abortion, just like this issue isn't pro-sex before marriage. It is pro-choice.

After doing some research, I found two overlying reasons that support waiting until marriage. The largest and most obvious reason being religious influence and the second being health risks. Both very important and valued concerns, yet do not reflect any basis for an all encompassing "rule" or ideal for all of the world. Since we are at a Catholic university I found this bit of information quite relevant, “Roman Catholicism teaches that sex before marriage is a mortal sin,” from columnist Jessica Steinmetz. Yes, a mortal sin, which to me sounded quite serious, so as I shook in my boots I looked it up to see the extent of my risk. Webster's Dictionary tells me that a mortal sin is, “A sin, such as murder or blasphemy, that is so heinous it deprives the soul of sanctifying grace and causes damnation if unpardoned at the time of death.” Shocking, so many of us are at risk of damnation, and the act of sex before marriage equates to murder. If this raises a red flag in your head as it did for me, I highly suggest you take this columnists stated advice, “If you have had sex without being married, try to go to confession as soon as possible.” (Steinmetz) Okay, so maybe I am exaggerating a little bit and using sarcasm, but the point is, some people are extreme on the issue. And they support these extreme beliefs with what they've learned through Catholicism. Oh how crowded the church pews would be if the priests knew what went on at weekends, even here at our religiously sprinkled university.

The main religious point about sex is a moral issue; one in which a foundation of marriage being present makes it perfectly acceptable. There are many references in the bible to sexual immorality and having the honor of being pure until marriage. First we see the judgment of God in Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” In Corinthians we see another example, Corinthians 6:9 “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders...” It is quite obvious to me, why those who hold strong faith and live their lives by every word in the bible would honor the tradition of waiting until marriage, the seemingly threatening statements and shameful references make sex to be an unnatural and sinful act.

Before even questioning beliefs on sex before marriage, there needs to be an established idea about sex.. Is it truly a dirty, naughty act that we don't tell our parents about or talk about at church? Is sex always sinful and unsafe? The answer is No to both of the above questions. To everyone sex is different, it means something all on its own each time. Sex is the union of two people, and when acted upon in good judgment, it is the union between two people who love each other and are committed and trusting of one another. When sex is cherished and appreciated and shared between two people, it can be a very spiritual act. The true union, being completely mindless, yet aware of every second of the experience brings you to a higher level of spirituality. Yet, sex and spirituality is something is a whole other subject that we could go on for even further. My basis for sex is better said as love making. An act that brings two individuals deeper into a relationship and is far from a sin, but a human need and desire, that must be acted upon in the most responsible of ways. It is the self disrespect and rather unsafe tendencies of casual sex, one night stands and prostitution that give sex a bad name. This case of unsafe sex leads us right into the second issue against sex before marriage; health.

There have been an overwhelming number of aids prevention campaigns and HIV/AIDS awareness in the last few years. The numbers show that 50% of the people who have HIV/AIDS are between the ages of 15 and 24, and condoms only protect from HIV 85% of the time(Jasper). These issues arise more frequently in the casual and unprotected acts of sex, rather then long term relationships involving sex. The argument is that if you have sex after marriage you aren't likely to be one of the million people in the US who have contracted AIDS because you know the one and only person you have had sex with and don't need to worry about the things you don't know about other sex partners. I do agree that waiting until marriage will lower your chances of getting an incurable disease, but I also feel that can be prevented by open and honest communication, preparation and simple good judgment. Get tested, know who you're sleeping with and make good choices. The marriage documents will not do anything to protect you further from HIV/AIDS or any other sexually transmitted disease.

One must understand both sides of every argument before taking a position on the issue. Waiting until marriage for sex has already been covered, now lets take a look at the other end of the spectrum. Supporting sex before marriage is simply having an openness to sex while in a relationship. No matter what any person, religious or otherwise thinks, sex is a natural part of life, the part of life that allows the world to keep on moving and existing. We all have the hormones and chemical reactions inside of us that create the urges and desires to be fulfilled through sex (Wright, Dickey), I mean, look at our anatomy, we are built to have sex. And to take it even further to its origination, we can even look at the animal world; no marriage documents or signed papers, simply the instincts to reproduce and create pleasure. We are, after all, distant relatives of those four legged and often times furry animals.

Saving sex until marriage sends out the message that sex is a very important and special thing, deserving its own time of unveiling, such as the wedding night. And yes, sex is extremely special and cherished, but sex isn't going to be special between just any two people. And what is the only way to tell if sex will be special between you and your significant other? By having sex, simple as that. Sex can bring two people together in more then just a physical sense, it can bring people together emotionally and spiritually, in the same way it can bring people apart by lack of passion and chemistry. This connectedness and oneness is important in the growth of a relationship, so finding out your compatibility sooner is better then a last minute surprise.

There are a couple of reasons, coming from a women's point of view, why you should not wait until your wedding night to have sex. First, it is not the easiest and most fun thing your first time, there is a tiny bit of pain involved and you don't get the amazing pleasure out of it at first. How romantic of a honeymoon will it be when you are walking bow-legged and sore, in addition to a bit of a let down in not reaching euphoria with your husband. A second reason is the possibility of it not being what you expected. What if you feel disappointed and awkward or like it isn't enough? Well, you have just vowed to a life with this person and this is the sex you will be having for that lifetime.

A lot of people will likely say that sex isn't everything, when in fact it is when you look at a marriage. This is why having someone that you can be comfortable with, have fun with and experience sex in a positive way with is very important. This though, does not mean to sleep with every person you see just to look for the right one. Simply means that knowing more before marriage is better then surprises after marriage.

Even though there are health risks of sex, whether before or after marriage, there are also health benefits of sex. Author of Superimmunity, Paul Pearsall a PH.D, states that “sex helps the immune system by increasing the flow of certain chemicals in the body.” Further said, editor of Men's Health magazine, Hugh O'Neill lists the health benefits of sex; Sex provides many of the same benefits of exercise, including improved cholesterol and increased circulation, and at a certain level may decrease risk for prostate problems. In men it increases the flow of testosterone which strengthens bones and muscles. When it comes to the health of a relationship, sex causes the body to release oxytocin, which provides the nurturing instincts and feelings of attraction. A more common body chemical that is released are endorphins which gives a sense of a high and decreases pain. If those aren't enough benefits for you, how about knowing that a neuropsychologist in Scotland, Dr. David weeks, has done much research and studies and determines that it may cause you to live longer, slowing down the aging process (Cotrwright).

I, as most of us do, have parents who are very strong believers in waiting until marriage to have sex. And as far as I know or would like to know, waited until marriage and even then had sex only two times; my conception as well as my sisters. Having conservative parents who never gave me a sex talk, but simply said that we are “supposed to wait until we are married to have sex,” has led me to find my own way while still holding and valuing my morals and beliefs. A way my parents originally did not approve of, but have realized that there is no one solution for everyone.

Sex is not taboo or wrong or sinful. If thought about mindfully and acted upon responsibly, it is no where near as bad for our health as drugs or alcohol and not even as bad as eating fatty foods, in fact it is probably much better for you because of the calories you burn. But back to the topic, I think the fact that sex is often shunned upon, leaves a lot of room for exploration and curiosity, leading to sex when one is not ready. This lack of knowledge often leads to people having unprotected sex and casual sex not realizing the emotional and health risks and toll it will take on your life. Awareness and open communication will better prepare us to make our own decisions in the best way possible based on our individual situations and beliefs. After all, before or after marriage isn't the only question that needs to be answered.