God hasn't been keeping me up to date with events very well because I've only just heard that Seth got married recently and had a son called Enosh. God hadn't told me about any other women being around Adam and Eve's place except those he must have made in the land of Nod and since Seth's still living with his mum and dad he must have married one of his sisters! God didn't tell me about those either - only interested in male children really. I suppose it's all right to marry his sister in the circumstances though it seems a little strange to me. But then, if there are no spare women, what other choice would he have?

Enosh is very different from Seth when he was a baby. Much prettier and he had a tooth growing already when he popped out.

By the way, since I last wrote to you I've made four hundred and thirteen more cardigans, fifty-five tapestries and a hundred and eighty seven pairs of socks. I've got the tapestries on the walls and they do look nice, even if I say it myself but God hasn't worn any of the cardigans or the socks and they're taking up a lot of space.

I wish he'd make me some cupboards to keep them all in. It's such a little thing to ask being as how it's so easy for him. He could say “Let there be this massive cupboard for my wife to keep her knitting in” just like that but he's got no consideration for me.

Or if you want to make it less conspicuous you can get it as a thong.

2. A sniper scope aimed at Obama

Or if you hate your dog you can have him wear it

3. For the sports enthusiast you can wear this great Hoodie design

4. If you think Obama is clueless

Or if you think your baby knows more than what Obama does, then you can get the baby grow.

5. If you believe in Aliens then this is the Shirt for you

6. Obama needs to go on a cruise to relax and spend some time with the family

7. If you storngly beleive Omaba will bring in more taxis then this sihrt is fro u

8. O, Obama actually won

9. Animal rights activists might be wearing these

Harriet Tubman

Former slave and Underground Railroad conductor

Abilitie(s): Super speed and/or invisibility

How else could this amazing woman manage to transport hundreds of slaves undetected? Although most evolved humans so far have been shown to only have one natural power, "Moses," as they called her, may have had either or both of these abilities.

Genghis Khan

Mongol founder and emperor

Abilitie(s): Mass impregnation

A British man named Tom Robinson was told that he was a direct descendant of the ruler and many, many, many kings have claimed to be descended from him as well. Genghis Khan didn't just invade when he took over a land, he would actually repopulate the land with little G. Khans. Talk about dominant genes.

Leonardo daVinci

Artist, inventor, military strategist, anatomist, everything

Abilitie(s): Intuitive aptitude

daVinci definitely could've been the Sylar of his day. He could understand things that didn't even exist yet! This would explain his keen knowledge of and expertise in multiple fields. He was definitely a Renaissance man.

Michelangelo

Artist, architect, engineer

Abilitie(s): Intuitive attitude

Maybe he was angry that he wasn't good at as many things as Leo was. Or he was just angry. Michelangelo wanted to concentrate on sculpting and was furious when Pope Julius II told him to go paint the Sistine Chapel's ceiling. He was melancholy, arrogant and had a ridiculous temper. But who can blame a man who was caned in the street by a pope?

Michael Jackson

Musician

Abiltie(s): Appearance alteration

He's just not very good at it. MJ has changed his look several times, and by look, we mainly mean his nose. He has also managed to change ethnicities and reinvent himself fashion-wise over his long career.

Chuck Norris

Martial artist and actor

Abiltie(s): Empathic mimicry

Because the character who can take other characters' powers is always the best. (Like Peter Petrelli.) And considering he trained with Bruce Lee, he has had some awesome people to empathize with. Thanks to his mimicry, Chuck has multiple powers including the power to divide by zero, slam a revolving door, and not read books, but stare them down until he gets the information he wants.

Sean Combs

Rapper, actor, entrepreneur, producer, and more

Abiltie(s): Name shifting

Besides being able to have six or seven occupations at once, this man can also have multiple names at once. Puff Daddy? Puffy? P. Diddy? Diddy? Duddy? No one knows who this guy will be next!

Amy Winehouse

Singer-songwriter

Abiltie(s): Rapid self-degeneration

No one has used alcohol, cigarettes, and crack cocaine quite like Amy. That is, no one has used them in combination with heroin, ecstasy, ketamine, self-harm, depression, eating disorders and soulful singing ... the ability she really needs to stick to.

Amelia Earhart

Aviator

Abiltie(s): Access to parallel dimension or space-time manipulation

If Amelia had these abilities, that could account for her disappearance. Perhaps she went to an alternate universe where people can fly? Or perhaps she traveled to some time in the future? Past? Well, wherever she disappeared to, she may have come back to us in the form of Jet Man.

Heidi Montag

Reality television personality, aspiring person-with-another-occupation

Abiltie(s): None

Self-explanatory.

Barbara Walters

Journalist, writer

Abiltie(s): Lacrimal manipulation

Everyone cries when Barbara interviews them and that's no coincidence. The only person who can possibly resist Barbara's powers might be Rosie O'Donnell because she's a psychopath. Or because she no longer has a heart.

PETA

Animal lovers, crazy people

Abiltie(s): Superior delusion and lack of compassion for humans

They call themselves The Organization. While animals don't deserve abuse, they don't deserve the attention PETA gives them. These people actually thought Ben & Jerry's might come out with breast milk ice cream. Then again, this is the same group that compared chickens dying to the Holocaust and complained that a donkey was used in warfare without protesting the loss of human life.

David Blaine

Magician, endurance artist and professional "delusionist." (My Mom came up with that one.)

Abiltie(s): Intuitive disappointment

All this guy does is do boring things for long periods of time and finds new and interesting ways to use the bathroom in public. And then when he does something almost exciting like a "dive of death," it ends up being the "bungee hop of death." Thanks for the entertainment, Dave.

John McCain

Senator, presidential candidate

Abiltie(s): Immortality or superior durability

There's got to be a reason this guy has lived so long. And no, I'm not saying that just because he's old. He endured five and a half years being tortured as a prisoner of war in Viet Nam. The knowledge that he will never die probably helped him make his vice presidential decision.

Barack Obama

Senator, presidential candidate

Abiltie(s): Change

We're not sure what kind of power he has, if any. But this is the one he advertises. Perhaps he isn't an evolved human at all. He's just ... some guy.

Sarah Palin

Governor, vice presidential candidate

Abiltie(s): Media magnetism, cryogenesis, telescopic vision and/or light manipulation

We have not yet identified what exactly Governor Palin's abilities are or how many of them she has. She has clearly demonstrated media magnetism, but the other abilities may have been expressed while she was out of the spotlight and governing Alaska. Her cryogenesis has been largely responsible for maintaining Alaska's snowy grounds, her light manipulation for aurora borealis, and her telescopic vision to see Russia from her house. On a side note, while the governor is quite adept at creating ice, she is not in fact responsible for the creation of Hillary Clinton.

Joe Bidden? Biden?

Who?

During our discussions, Mark actually spelled Biden's name wrong when he suggested that he had the power of "Who?" Proves a point. But perhaps this is simply Biden's demonstration of one of the coolest abilities an evolved human can have ... invisibility.

1. Palinosaur
   
   
   

   This dinosaur has dagger like teeth and sharp claws. It eats pit bulls for dinner. She strikes at her enemies with sudden quickness and ferociousness.

2. McCainotrops
   
   

   With one large horn coming out of his thick head located just above his right eye, this four-legged body dinosaur is strong and sturdy. The McCainotrops is not afraid to fight when threatened.

3. Obamadactyl
   
   

   A high-flying dinosaur with enormous wingspan. Capable of swooping down at its victims with tremendous speed. The Obamadactyl makes enchanting sounds during the mating season.

4. Bidaurid
   
   
   

   A duck-billed dinosaur, this friendly plant eater is one of the most sociable of the dinosaur species. It is known to settle disputes with dinosaurs that have territorial problems.

5. Bushosaurus
   
   
   

   Blustery and huge, this dinosaur is one of the largest and longest around. It has one of the smallest brains for such a huge body. It eats all day and is extremely vulnerable to attack by its predators.

6. Cheneysaur
   
   

   The most dangerous carnivore in existence. It stands over 40 feet tall and has lethal, hatchet like teeth. Cheneysaur has an enormous head and very strong body. It has a long tail and reduced forelimbs. It is extremely aggressive and is constantly on the attack.

1. Lifting a bottle using a straw only

   To perform this, we need an empty bottle of soft drink and a straw.
   
   
   
   Challenge anyone to lift the empty bottle of soft drink using the straw without tying or holding it. Here's how to do it. (See photo below) Fold one end of the straw about an inch and insert it to the bottle slowly.
   
   
   
   
   
   The folded straw served as a hook enabling it to lift the bottle. After lifting the bottle, you can actually swing the bottle to the left and to the right or back and forth. You can perfect this trick by regularly practicing it.
   
   

2. Adding a spoonful of water to a water-filled soft drink bottle

   In doing this trick, we'll be needing a water-filled bottle of soft drink, a spoon, a piece of paper and water.
   
   
   
   Challenge anyone to add a teaspoon of water on the water-filled bottle without spilling. Of course, they will wonder where to put the additional water because the bottle is already filled. Here's how to do this simple but amazing trick. Place the piece of paper on the mouth of the bottle.
   
   
   
   Turn the bottle upside down. The water content of the bottle won't spill/leak because the piece of paper serves as stopper.
   
   
   
   Now, you can add a teaspoon of water in the bottle.
   
   

3. Soft drink drinking contest using two straws

   
   
   Challenge anyone to drink using two straws - one straw inside the bottle and the other on the outside. Bet a thousand dollar for a challenger who can drink or at least reduce the content of the bottle.

During recess, break time, party time are perfect times to execute these tricks. Hope you enjoyed these simple treat of tricks!

1. Supplies of medicine for assorted off-putting ailments

   It's not just the fifteen different kinds of haemorrhoid ointment or big bottles of lotion for treating pubic lice that can send a potential partner shrieking into the night. Almost anyone's romantic ardour is going to be a bit dampened if they discover that you not only suffer from fungal toenail infections but have to put those charcoal pads in your underwear to minimize the effects of your persistent flatulence and repeatedly blast the wax from your ears with something not unlike an industrial pressure hose.

2. Really desperate prolefood

   Own-brand oven chips, sliced white and economy instant powdered tea, boil-in-the-bag curries, tinned pies full of mystery meat and no fruit and veg apart from dented tins of baked beans do not give a hot date the best impression. He or she will think that being taken out for dinner by you will involve a trip to some obscure chain of fast-food restaurants where the cabaret consists of getting mugged for your mobile phone.  

3. Enormous collection of self-help books

   Especially if they are all called things like It's OK to be Desperate and Needy, Why All Men Are Beasts Who Won't Commit, How To Get Married in 30 Days or, if you are male, Coping With Impotence, Make Any Woman Do Really Depraved Stuff With You or Masculinity In Crisis: It's All Women's Fault. Mind you, books about deranged conspiracy theories, cuckoo Secrets of the Lost Tribe Down The Road or ways of making it to assistant deputy head of the stationery cupboard before you're 45 don't give a great impression either.  

4. Indications that you are an enthusiastic member of a peculiar religious cult

   Such as a large and baleful portrait of a notorious cult leader, badly-printed flyers full of spelling mistakes and bizarre claims that are obviously there to be handed out to visitors, and asking your guest to participate in a strange ritual before eating or drinking anything. 

5. Alarming pets

   Whether it's a dozen leaping, baying, slobbering dogs that are all called things like Lung-Ripper, Psycho and Very Naughty or a tarantula, scorpion or venomous snake that's allowed free run of the house, not many people are reassured by claims that "He/She *likes* you, honestly. He/she doesn"t usually take people's limbs off or pump deadly poison into them the first time they meet him/her.'  

6. Revolting squalor

   Now I'd be the first to agree that excessive housework is a social-cultural trap designed to keep women enslaved by guilt and all the rest of it, and that men already know that life is too short to dust the light fittings twice a day, but certain things go way beyond... Stained underwear all over the place, a splotch of long-dried-but-never-cleared-up vomit, all-singing-all-dancing vermin infestations around a teetering pile of unwashed dishes: your hot date won't just flee, he/she will probably consider calling some sort of community care official in.  

7. Corpse of previous lover, stuffed

   This is not OK even if you did tell your new friend your family name was Bates.

The following tale is one that I came across while doing some research on another project. It made me laugh so much that I had to relate it here.

Is it true? Well, probably not, but who knows?

Imagine the scenario: The President is in conference with one of his high ranking advisers.

Mr President: Tell me, who is the President of China?

Adviser: Hu is.

Mr President: That's what I asked you. Who is?

Adviser: Hu is, Mr President.

Aside:(Hu Jintao is the president of China, but YOU knew that didn't you?)

Mr President: (Becoming exasperated) Tell me, who is the president of China?

The conversation goes round and round until the Adviser gets sick of it.

Adviser: Let's call Kofi (Meaning Kofi Annan, United Nations Secretary General that was)

Mr President: Great idea, yes, let's have coffee.

They are just a couple of the mistakes that people commit around the world. As we always say, “no one is perfect.” If you have some of your own experience of seeing some funny signage, please do share. Thank you and God Bless You All!