How to Have a Christian Clique

Tongue-in-cheek.

  1. Act like your group, occasion, or venue belongs to you since you are in charge of something in it, rather than having it belong to Jesus. This is a good idea, even in forums.
  2. Expect people who come along to fit in with its normal way of thinking, chatting, and acting. If people cannot fit in, just ask them why they are there. After all, you were there first.
  3. Do not listen to any advice from the Bible, because after all, you already know what the Bible is all about, and nobody has any business telling you anything about the Bible. Especially if you are in charge. It is okay if you ignore James 3:17.
  4. Change their questions into personal discussions where you start talking about them. Just give some picky, emotional little reasons for doing so, and you will not be accountable to Jesus for it.
  5. Call them rude names like, "troll," because after all you are free to do so, and nobody will correct you.
  6. Use your personal feelings as a guide for your speech instead of using Scripture. After all, God gave us our feelings, didn't He? And, that's just the way you happen to like to think about things!
  7. Act like you know almost everything worth knowing. Never admit error or a need for correction, especially from somebody new.
  8. Be kind of snotty and hypersensitive.
  9. Be ready to give out little insults, and sarcastic retorts, without being able to take it in return.
  10. Boot them out, using weak little feminized reasons to justify doing so.
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