Sometimes common excuses are just not good enough. And even the strangest things can happen in a relationship! From alien abduction to cloning, the only dilemma is: jump him or dump him?
Alien abduction
Your sweetheart comes home after three days. Followed by a discreet scent of alcohol and reddish marks on his shirt. Well, alien abduction is the only legally acceptable explanation. The tones of red marks show that the abductors are from planet LORE AL and they used alcohol to disinfect him.
Verdict? Jump him. Have his baby. He's so perfect, and even aliens want to his genes!!! It's matter of time when they'll take him away forever and leave you in grief.
Near-death experience
He had an appointment at the dentist's office but he came home very late. He says he 's suffered a near death experience (NDE). In the middle of the procedure, he faded away, entered a tunnel, and then saw a light. Then, a beautiful creature told him he should better return home.
Verdict? Dump him. He cannot pass through a simple dental intervention without almost dying.
Astral projection
You wake up in the middle of the night, and he's not in your bed. How is that possible, you went to bed together? Few hours later, he comes right through the door and tells you he went to a journey in astral plains. He mastered a new technique - this time he took his material body with him.
Verdict? Dump him, unless you have the same skills and like to use them!
Reincarnation
You come home earlier and catch him with a playmate-looking lady in your own bed. But, he's not cheating. She was his wife in his previous life. Since time and space are relative, and basically don't exist except in our minds, she can still be considered his wife, same as you are.
Verdict? Dump him. You're not Einstein. Why should you understand all that relativity?
Karma
He cheats on you. But he did it because you cheated on someone else earlier. So it was just the old what-goes-around-comes-around stuff. He basically claims he helped you out because now you've got what you deserved.
Verdict? Dump him. You must do it before he dumps you, because you've dumped someone else.
Mind over matter
He cheats on you again. But he says that you have created your own reality and that you made it happen. He was just a tool in...in your hands? Well, not literally, but kind of. First you thought about him cheating (did you? Confess, it was at least once!), and then he actually did it. Your thoughts have materialized. And you also may be clairvoyant without knowing it.
Verdict? Dump him. He is inconsistent. He did not obey the same law when you thought about him giving you a foot massage.
A wandering clone
The weekend he was supposed to go fishing with his friends, he was spotted canoodling with a „random" mysterious woman. Your best friend. She confesses. But he still claims it was not him. He says he must have been cloned, due to his genetic perfection. Your friend just did not notice the difference, because...well, because she's not you, of course!
Verdict? Jump him. But try to find that clone, and make those two split housework, participate in your budget, work two different shifts...double the pleasure!
Disclaimer: Since the author believes in all the phenomena listed below you may say my relationships are built to last!
