I know, I know…You have been dating for a month, everything seems perfect, your best friend likes him, the sex is yummy, and your dog has not bitten him yet. Perfect. One night you decide to meet out for some tizer’s and ‘tini’s at your local pub to unexpectedly find him flirting back at Palin. While you have to admit she is slightly sexy, in a Tina Fey sort of way, the real debate begins. Although, because it is not always easy to find someone, here are a few things to think about as you put on your boxing gloves and enter the ring:
The Candidates Agree on a Few Things
Sure they do. I know that this may not seem like an excellent point, but if you adore your boy, you may have to find some common ground. Obama and McCain both support the death penalty, embryonic stem cells, guns background check, Homeland Security Patriot Act, Immigration paths for illegals, Immigration border fence, and Iran sanctions. It is also quite obvious that Obama and Palin both enjoy spending time with the elders. Oh, that’s right Palin is running for Vice Presidency. Either way, that has to be a plus.
On the other side they both oppose energy & oil ANWR drilling, Homeland Security Guantanamo, Homeland Security Torture, Homeland Security Wiretapping, same-sex marriage, and same-sex constitutional ban. So as you are engaged in a discussion about abortion, perhaps, if you really like this young man, you could shift the conversation, very coyly, to a topic that both candidates can even agree on.
How Good is the Sex – Really?
If the sex is really good I am afraid that you are in over your head. If McPoliticy drives you crazy and as Meredith might say, you can’t stop “thinking about his tongue,” you are really going to have to weigh this out. I know it is tough because you are living with values that your parents have morphed into your minds over the years as a child, but your parents are not responsible for your relief of stress through orgasm; McPoliticy is. I know that you believe in certain things to your very core and that is where you might have to draw the line. Just be careful, election time comes but once every four years. The two of you could be happily married with two children by 2012.
You have a Month to Change Him
If none of the preceding stuff seems to make sense, remember, you have about a month to change his mind. If your lover is really devoted to his candidate, you will have to do a sneak attack. You cannot, I repeat, cannot go into heavy competition mode. This is the work of little gestures, fine detail, and gentle petting. I first suggest making a cd of your voice whispering soft suggestions to manipulate his thinking once he has fallen asleep. Remember we are going in under the radar. Try some reverse psychology by mentioning a few positive comments about things that he might contradict. “Well at least I know that if we got pregnant you are against abortion.” Or “I sure think it’s great that we still have troops in Iraq.” Finally, as the day approaches, and McPoliticy is wavering, go in for the kill with sexual favors if needed. Just remember to be careful with what you promise as you will not be allowed in the voting booth with him.
