When a female child is singled out by a pedophile she will, more often than not, blame herself. She will punish herself by becoming addicted to one harmful habit or another. Either drugs or men or food, any of which being involved with to excess is harmful. Very rarely will she become a pedophile herself. Against my better judgment I'm admitting knowledge of one such person. A woman who was severely abused as a very young child and now, as an adult, has vivid sexual fantasies involving the molestation of female infants. To the best of my knowledge she has never acted on her urges and I can only hope that she never does.
When I was speaking with her a few days ago she told me of an incident that she had in a shopping mall the previous week. A friend of hers had been shopping in the same mall and she had her infant granddaughter with her. She wanted very badly to hold the baby but knew that she would be affected too intensely. The feelings of excitement plus guilt were enough to make her feel physically ill. She excused herself, left the mall, and went home and nearly overdosed on her pain medication.
Because she is a good person I know that if she ever did give in to her urges she would not be able to live with herself. Fortunately for her she doesn't have children or grandchildren so that temptation doesn't exist. I love her dearly and if it ever did come to my knowledge that she had done something awful I really don't know how I would react. My heart breaks for her.
